You can show me the kind of things you like and we can figure out what to get you.’ ‘Jeff, you’re completely misunderstanding the process. Buying the ring is just the anticlimax. The true essence of getting the ring is walking hand in hand, or your arm around me would do just fine, from store to store. ‘It’s a leisurely, lengthy process which would be spoiled by getting the perfect ring too quickly. I’ll point to something and say, ‘Oh, I like that one.’ ‘And you’ll say, ‘It’s really nice.’ ‘Then I say, ‘But I don’t know. Let’s look some more. Oh, what about that one over there?’ ‘That is the joy, the Gestalt of acquiring an engagement ring.’ Jeff had a funny look on his face. ‘This is another joke, right? You don’t deliberately find the hardest way to pick out what you want. You’re …’ He saw my look and didn’t need to finish. ‘Oh.’ ‘Oh,’ I said. He had a pained, cautious look on his face, like he wanted to say something but didn’t it want to be a red flag waved at a bull. ‘Would it. Voldemort allowed the desperate man to catalogue these services at length, nodding as he did so to acknowledge the veracity of Kasputin's claims to having performed loyal deeds. When the man began to repeat himself, Voldemort did not need his wand to silence him; a mere gesture sufficed."All true," said Voldemort cheerfully. "Every word of it. You have done good service for me in the past. But weighing everything in the balance, I think I'd prefer that you die." The man's voice again began a shrill protest."But what about you said before? You said that I could still be of service to you, and that's why you needed to tell me the history just now!" Bellatrix waited for what she was sure to be the punch line, willing herself not to laugh."That's true," replied Voldemort. "And you are going to perform a service for me, and right now. You see, for years people have speculated on how much Crassus suffered from the method of his execution. Was his death instantaneous? Or was his demise long.
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